“People show their true colours unintentionally, pay attention” – Jelly
We live in a highly social world; people are constantly socializing with each other. And even if you are not very social or you are an introvert, you are still able to observe all the events taking place around you. With social media like facebook (FB), Instagram and the likes, our exposure to social behaviours might be a little less than when they did not exist. Nevertheless, we are surrounded by many social events to be able to deduce what is going on in our environment, if we are paying attention. We are also involved in so many social circles, work, school, family, religious, business and so much more. By virtue of this we need to be observant of people and the things they say as theses are preparatory steps on how we will protect our heart and ourselves in general from betrayal, disloyalty and people who are wolves in sheep’s clothing.
You should always pay attention to what people say about others, how they treat someone that is not their friend, how they treat strangers because it’s from these clues you will be able to deduce how this person will potentially treat you. You see, when people are comfortable with you, they will share a lot, listen carefully to what they are saying because you will be able to tell if this is someone you should avoid or love from a distance. For example, a former friend (and I say former because we are no longer friends), once told me that she will never let people know when she is feeling down or have gotten the best of her. Why? because she never wants anyone to have a ‘one-up’ on her or show her pity. So even in a storm, she will behave as if all is calm. So when we unfriended each other, (in real life, I feel like I’m on FB) I was able to tell when things were bothering her despite the gigantic laughter she carried on her face.
I was also apart of a circle of friends once, and one member was talking quite badly about another member, who she is quite close to (this person was not present at the time.) While there, I thought to myself, if she talked like this about her close friend, if I was ever to become her close friend, she would say similar things about me. Now it’s not only friendship that these true colours are unintentionally exposed. If you are simply having a conversation with someone, anyone, if you’re in a business meeting, a team meeting, listen to how people speak about others, their ideas, opinions, likes and dislikes. You will learn a whole lot, like who not to trust, who not to do business with, who never to invite to your home and the list goes on. Another example, I was speaking to a co-worker once, and she made a comment about working in a retail setting, she said that when you reach a certain age you should not be working in retail as it should be reserved for teenagers. Now I thought, how condescending. Life is hard, jobs aren’t so easy to get these days and bills need to be paid. What are you going tell the bill collector when he/she calls? Sorry, I can’t pay my bill because I’m unable to find a job and I refuse to work at McDonald’s because those jobs are for teenagers. Now, if I was working at McDonald’s, I certainly wouldn’t feel good about myself. If I ever work at McDonald’s, I would never tell her. All I’m trying to say to you is, people say all sorts of things, but sometimes we are so busy trying to come up with a response that we don’t hear the subtle clues; and truth be told, some of us are just not that observant. If your friend told you that they’re with someone’s husband, you know damn well that your husband might be up for grabs.
Pay attention
This duck is definitely on the look out for those shady duck friends. You should too!
People are not always genuine and given the right platform, they often display that ingenuity. If you’re dating a guy/girl and you over heard them encouraging, lets say their bestie, to cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend, that’s someone you should consider not staying with. If they are encouraging someone to do something, they will do it too. Listen to how people give advice to others because they are indirectly telling you, that is what they would do. Usually when someone is giving advice, they usually commence by saying, “what I would do is….”
Additionally, taking courses in sociology or psychology can teach you so much. It helps you understand the way people think and why is it they do what they do. This type of knowledge can set you a part when it comes to analyzing and dissecting human behaviour. It will even help to offset upsets or disappointments simply because you understand. Another amazing thing is they won’t even know you know. So while they behave and carry on, you are already steps ahead. Take a few courses, it will help a lot. It certainly did for me. Check out York University sociology and psychology programs. Not interested in York? Find a university or college here.
So as you venture on in life, moving from friendships to friendships, social circles to social circles, listen to understand not to respond. Here is something for you, “silent” and “listen” has the same letters. Be quiet, be observant, listen for clues, it can save you tremendous pain, heartache and disappointments down the road. Similarly, never forget that people show their true colours unintentionally, all you have to do is pay attention. Have you ever done Personality Dimensions (PD)? Find out your (PD) colours here. So friends, until next blog, keep calm and blog on.
