“I do not exist to impress the world. I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy” ~Richard Bach~
Imagine we all do this. Just do you. Eve the rapper said it best “I do what that they can’t do, I just do me.” Simple, isn’t it? But why do so many people have a hard time doing it? Instead we try to impress others by being something or someone we are not. They say every man’s happiness is his own responsibility, therefore, you can’t depend on other people or try to impress them to make you happy. You have to do it yourself. A significant part of making yourself happy is not living to impress others. But rather living to impress your own self through constant improvement and development, or whatever it is you partake in to make yourself feel good.
They Are Gonna Judge Anyways
You see, we live in a world of constant judgement. We all judge. You did it, I did it and despite detesting judgmental reciprocation, we still continue to do it. So the mere fact that you’re going to be judged anyways, why not just live in a way that will make you happy. Here is a personal story for you. While growing up, I wondered sometimes why I lost friends very quickly especially females ones. As I was young, I couldn’t quite put my fingers on it nor did I put much thought into it. But as I got older, I realized it was because I got a mind of my own and think for myself. What does this have to do with impressing others? Well I was myself, I didn’t try to be no one else. Even when a friend at the time threatened to not speak to me and to influence others to do the same, I didn’t care. LOL. I told them to go right ahead. And they did. But it did not move me. I did not run back to her or the others, I stood my ground. Consequentially, they all became my friends again but with the understanding that I don’t live to impress others. I guess I figured by being myself, the right people will come and it wouldn’t result in any superficial connection. The important thing here is you have to be ok with yourself.
Your Happiness Is Your Responsibility
Now, I know you may have kids and most times you have to put their needs above yours. Yes, that comes with parenthood, and by all means that should (I hope) make you happy that you are supporting your child/ren. However, it shouldn’t be the sole reason for your happiness. Children will grow up to lead their own lives. They will find ways to make themselves happy and some of those ways may not make you happy. For example, if you want your child to marry a particular person and they decided that your choice of partner is dissimilar to theirs, what are you going to do, spend your days being unhappy because your child/ren went against your definition of a desirable partner? I have heard many people say that if their children are happy then they are happy. Or if my child does what I tell him/her, that makes me happy. No wonder there are so many unhappy parents.
Expectation Can Lead To Disappointment
What makes you happy is not what makes another person happy so being there for your children emotionally, physically and even financially is where your focus and energy should be. That’s what you have control of. So long as you take care of what’s in your control, your bases are covered. I haven’t forgotten about the husbands/ wives/family members because the truth is, they come with their own demands and instructions on how we should live our lives. As a result, it becomes so confusing because we want to please them all. In the same breath, we can’t blame them because we all judge and have these irrational expectations on how people should live their lives. And when people don’t live up to or become our expectations, we are disappointed. But what are you really disappointed about? It’s not your life.
My Path May Not Be Your Path
People take different paths in life and sometimes the path they have chosen based on how they’ve mapped out their life journey may be contrary to what you would have done. You have to accept and respect that. It most certainly doesn’t mean they are on the wrong path; it simply means they are not on your path. And by all means just let them be, so long they are not hurting themselves or someone else, you have to just surrender those judgements, eye-rolls, shake-my-heads (smh) and let them live. On a brighter note, if things don’t work out, you are not to be blamed. Remember not everyone likes to take blame, even when every arrow is pointing in their direction, they will simply move out the way, to avoid blame.
People Take Blame Seriously
I know someone who actually blamed their stepfather for meeting a certain guy who they dated but it didn’t work out. When this particular person was asked why they dated such a guy, rather than blaming their poor choice, they blamed their stepfather for locking them out the house and thus making it possible to have met that person. So be careful how you give advice, it can certainly backfire. Instead allow people to make their own decisions in life. After all, they are living to make themselves happy, so give them way to do so.
The Real Nemesis
Social media is another nemesis that indirectly forces us to impress the world. If you keep up with the unreal reality of social media before you know it, you will become caught up with trying to impress everyone except yourself. When was the last time you saw someone post their failures? Probably never. Still, you do almost everything in your power to get notice, to get likes. You hire professional photographers. You get your photo edited to not look like you. (LOL) You watch every youtube video on how to pose in videos, how to take great photos and the list goes on; all in the name of trying to impress people that have no importance in your life. We all get caught up in it.
We All Do It
I remembered when I started Instagram, I downloaded every app to edit my photos and then one day I said to myself, who am I kidding, I don’t have time for all this. I still have my instagram account but I am not so active on it as I have decided to invest my time and energy into things that are more worthwhile and conducive to my personal growth. Now not all instagram, facebook or twitter accounts are reckless, some are very inspirational and can add value to your life. But depending on what you consider to be inspirational, those reckless accounts may inspire you too. LOL. However, when you try to impress others, you waste valuable time and energy that you could’ve spend improving yourself and making your life more meaningful. The sad part about all this is we don’t even know most of these people we are attempting to impress. The sadder part is your self-worth and self-esteem is heading down the drain with every passing second and minute you waste on trying to make an impression on others.
Do What’s Best For You
Bottom line is, live to make yourself happy. I promise that you will not be content impressing others at this comes with tremendous effort that will often go unnoticed. This can be very disappointing but in the same token that’s what happens when your concentration is centered on trying to get others in your corner. Impressing them won’t liberate you from their judgements anyways, so live your life to please you. When the focus is on you, you maintain control over your life and you place yourself in a position for continuous progress. Stop trying to please people, instead, please yourself. Go to the spa. Meditate. Go on a mini shopping spree. Cook something really nice and sit down and eat all of it, ok probably not all of it. What the heck, eat all of it. LOL.
Make Them Take Notes
Of course doing these things are way easier when you are single or does not have children, but then again that’s the time in our lives when we live for others the most. Even bob Marley said it, “you can please some people sometimes but you can’t please all the people all the time.” Chose the few that you’re happy pleasing and forget the rest. On that note, learn to stop caring too much of what people thinks or else you will become a prisoner of their thoughts. Live your life. Wear those funky boots, be weird and unapologetic about it. Laugh out loud. Have fun and continue to live in a way that makes you so happy, others will be forced to take note. Until next time pepes, stay safe, stay strong, keep calm and carry on.
This is amazing. So inspiring. I needed to hear this.
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Amazing idea to cope up with.
Yes. It is such a simple idea but it takes practice to really understand it. Thank you for sharing.
You are so right
So captivating
Thanks
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Such a great piece.
wow! this is real thoughts everybody should know about their lives.
Very nice article 👍
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Very inspiring! So true about social media and the drive to impress. We are all guilty of it I guess 😆
This is just what I needed today. Thanks.
This is definitely going to add values in one’s life!!
I started my day with your post and it is really inspirational. It is so important to trust be yourself.
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You are amazing, The world facing a very difficult time and at this time we all need some inspiration. thanks a lot
Beautiful thoughts
Thanks for all the great comments. I really like it when people are inspired
I completely agree with every man is responsible for his own happiness.
thank you so much for sharing this amazing post!
Nice way of explanation 👌
Rightly said, our happiness is our responsibility. we cant entitle someone else with that task
A good way of writing
This is an awesome no-frills, truthful piece! People are going to judge (we included), and the best we can do for ourselves is live for ourselves. I’ve seen so many people try to live for other people, or try not to hurt other people along their path.. I’m thinking, they will be fine, you are not the center of their universe. Obviously we’re not talking about parents abandoning their children or people with real responsibilities, of course, but the everyday situations.
Absolutely
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Needed this, thank u! X
“Your happiness is your responsibility”. Absolutely! This is something I have just learnt and am working on.
Spot on – I believe that one of our obstacles is those evil brain weasels spinning on their wheel, keeping us awake all night reliving every bad decicion….
Very true. Our happiness is our own responsibility. I find myself trying to find that careful balance between Self Care and Selfish. I have met crossroads when I realized that my friend’s path was not my own path and that by each of us doing what was best for ourselves, was not in either self’s interest. So despite it hurting, we had to part ways. But I know that’s just a part of the journey.
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I always love to find articles of inspiration and as the creator of ‘Made You Smile Back’, I too most definitely believe that happiness is a choice and is our sole responsibility of making it happen for ourselves. Thanks for sharing.
Wow I love this! My favorite is probably my path is not your path. Because it is so true! Everyone is on their own journey and that is absolutely no shame in that! 🙂